I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
