Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
