I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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