So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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