It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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