i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Four minutes until I can fart!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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