Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I am one with the molecules
Randomize