i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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