I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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