This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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