It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
