4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We're facebook friends in real life
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
