There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
