6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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