ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
