and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
