just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
