You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
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is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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