Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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