we're blogging at a bar
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
