Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
