His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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