3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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