too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
