i just wanna soil my oats bro
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
