we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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