i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
