tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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