Swine flu is the new snow day.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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