Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
