if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
