were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sext me about skeletons
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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