We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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