I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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