You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
