Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
