her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
