I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
