so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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