exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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