I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
