We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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