We're facebook friends in real life
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
