Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
