im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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