In the future we'll all be gay
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
