Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
