i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
