her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I did not marry a roomba.
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