I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
