I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
