I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
