Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
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We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
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that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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