I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
