you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
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4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
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I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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