I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Randomize
