some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
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