I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize