I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
