Whod you bang
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sorry about my life...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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