We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
