I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize