I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
