So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
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And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
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Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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