a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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