Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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