if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
