Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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