just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just pee around me
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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