apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
